Monday, April 28, 2008

Top Ten Reasons I Should Not Be a Grandpa

10. I have a very low tolerance for anything that screams and/or poops.

9. I don’t know the words to “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.”

8. If it walks on all fours, it should live in a doghouse in the backyard.

7. I am a world-class curmudgeon.

6. I believe children should be shipped to India, not heard.

5. I hate to share my beer.

4. The sight of Oscar the Grouch causes me to weep uncontrollably.

3. I prefer to sleep through the entire night.

2. I have, on at least one occasion, dropped a baby.

1. I play “Chutes and Ladders” to win.


Anonymous said...

I prefer creatures that can hold their water all night ..

Peek-a-boo? Please, are you retarded?

What part of 'no' did you not understand?

Purple dinosaur? (is he still around? - I hope not, extinction is good for something)

(yes I am kidding, at least somewhat...)

Gramps said...

My personal opinion is that the child's brain can neither hear nor comprehend the word "no" until about age 17. (In the case of men, it is probably about age 58.)

Guilty Secret said...

You're going to love it ;)

LVGurl said...

Funny, I play Hungry, Hungry Hippos to win.

180/360 said...

HAHA!! I bet you'll be a fun grandpa!