Tuesday, October 27, 2009

WWC: "F" and "Altered"

We welcome you to the First Birthday edition of the Weekly Word Challenge. It could also be known as the "Cake, cake, cake!" episode. But it isn't.

We have been away for a couple of weeks due to illness, general laziness and the necessity of planning The Granddaughter's first birthday party! That's right, this frickin' adorable little girl is now one year old. It's amazing, isn't it. It seems like only 12 short months ago that she was kicking and screaming her way into this not-yet-but-soon-to-be-zombified world of ours.

Our daughter decided to have a simple party for the little one, and Gramps certainly appreciated the rather mild celebration. It could have had a lot more children involved, and you know how the old man feels about snotty nosed brats. There is also a very interesting story to tell about the birthday cake, but we'll leave that for another time. For now, on to the all-birthday edition of the WWC.

F (The Granddaughter ate the cake from her first birthday off the floor.)

Altered (She also permanently altered Gramps' sweatshirt with lots of ground in chocolate stains.)

Bonus Photo (Somebody here looks a little like the cat that ate the canary, eh?)

Unfortunately, there was no cake left or we would share some with all of you. Maybe The Daughter will make a bigger cake for birthday number two. It has been a fun year for Granny and Gramps, and we thank you for sharing it with us. Be sure to tune in next week when we will be sure to have some great Halloween photos. Gramps is pushing hard to turn The Granddaughter into a zombie. Will he win the day? Tune in next week to find out.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

WWC: "S" and "Water"

Another week has gone by, and Gramps has once again been delayed with our WWC Postings. This week, however; Gramps has multiple good reasons ... 1. The Granddaughter has been MIA for the past week (that alone would put anyone in a spiral of depression). 2. The Dodgers have clinched a NLC berth, (bringing the Philadelphia Phillies to LA for a last season rematch). 3. The XBoy had his first HS homecoming formal/dance and 4. Gramps is once again, lying in the bed - sick with the sniffles and a hacking - congested cough ...

Granny and Homemade Vegetable Soup to the Rescue!

"S" is for Sick. The Granddaughter has the Sniffles, Snot and Sneezing

"Water". Nothing like a luke-warm bath to ease the aches and pains.

"Bonus Picture" The Granddaughter is Lovin' on Her Sick Papa

From Gramps, Granny, The Granddaughter and The Rest of Our Family - Thank you for spending the 1st Year of Our Adorable Apfelpfankuchen's Life with Us ... Enjoy some cheeks on us!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

WWC: "Warmth" and "Depth"

We're back on schedule for this week's episode of the Weekly Word Challenge, sponsored by zombie Tink and Jay. Unfortunately, no one has tried to blackmail us this week, so we don't have anything for which to apologize. That will mean low ratings for Old Before Our Time. Again. But we thank you loyal viewers for tuning in to see more of that baby goodness known as The Granddaughter. This week's words are "warmth" and "depth."

Warmth (Granny and The Granddaugher sharing a warm, tender moment.)

Depth (Somebody got deep into the cabinet beneath the grandparents' sink.)
Bonus Photo (This one cracks me up every time I see it. The Granddaughter looks so terrified. It's sort of a Home Alone look.)

We know you have many sources on the Internet for cuteness, and we appreciate your business. Please tell your friends and family about us--even the ones without computers. We'll be sure to give you the best baby photos apfelpfankuchen cheeks can buy. Au revoir.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

WWC: "Favorite Quote" and "L"

We may be a day late, but we're right on the money for this week's edition of the Weekly Word Challenge, brought to you by the ghost of Tink, hauntings for all occasions. Since it's my lunch hour, and I'm in a hurry, let's get on with it, shall we?

Favorite Quote ("It's time for Dodger baseball!" --Vin Scully)

L (L is for the light that bathes The Granddaughter while she helps with housework.)

Bonus Photo ("I have a headache, Granny.")

Thank you for your patience with our tardiness. We promise to do better next week, but if we're late, it's Granny's fault. Have a moderately tolerable week.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

WWC: "Go Green" and "Square"

Hello? Is anyone there?

Yes, it has been a long time, hasn't it. And we have some perfectly good excuses. We've had lots of drama with kids. Our granddaughter was MIA again for many, many days. Granny has been dealing with some pretty rotten chronic illness. Gramps had a virus. Then he got just plain lazy.

And Mafia Wars. Yes, there was that, too.

But we're back. I can see from your blogs that lots has been happening with you, too. Before we go any further, everyone please go congratulate Cate on her new frickin' adorable baby! We're very happy for you. We're also terrified for you. It's a kid, and it's yours. All yours. You and Nate will make great parents.

Our own grandchild has been standing and taking her first tentative steps. She will be eleven months old tomorrow. She is still, of course, the most delicious apfelpfankuchen in the world.

Now on to the most recent edition of the Weekly Word Challenge. You may recall that the last time we spoke, Tink had been snuffed by a zombie alligator, and she was hosting the WWC from the heavens. Jay is her avatar on this plane, though some think he is a heretic. I am still awaiting further evidence, such as his turning water into beer.

We've skipped several weeks of the WWC, but we're back on track for "Go Green" and "Square." Thank you for your patience.

Go Green (The Granddaughter just loves to recycle.)

Square ("Grandpa, can you help me put this square into the right hole?")

Bonus Picture #1 ("I don't wanna go!")

Bonus Picture #2 ("HEEEELP me, Grandpa!")

Thanks for still being here, Internet. We love you. Please stay tuned, and I can assure you that next week--on schedule--we'll have more baby goodness just for you.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

WWC: "D" and "Green"

Welcome back, friends! After last week's travails, I'm sure you wondered if we would ever go to print again, but here we are. Don't let anyone ever tell you miracles don't happen, because they do. As bad as it was two weeks ago, last week was so good that it made up for it and then some.

My first complaint was that I was number 218 on the wait list at the library for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Well, it just so happens that my birthday was last week. My dear, sweet wife sensed my sadness and sent the kids out for my present. I was truly surprised to unwrap that very treasure for which my soul had been longing: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, of course. That was miracle number one.

Miracle number two means that you are safer tonight than you were last night. Yesterday I killed more than 600 zombies because the newly repaired Xbox 360 had arrived! "No way!" I can hear you exclaim. All I have to say to that is "Yes way."

Add to that a wonderful birthday dinner with my family, a granddaughter who is still frickin' adorable and the fact that the ghost of Tink sent us new words for this edition of the Weekly Word Challenge, and things have been pretty peachy at the old homestead. And now, on with the show.

D (The Granddaughter visited the ducks (and geese and seagulls and pigeons and grackles) at the pond.)

Green ("It's not easy being green.")

Bonus Picture ("Cigarettes are like money in here, Grandpa.")

That's it for this week, loyal readers. We look forward to a great week of destroying zombies (that is if Granny doesn't kill the TV after another frustrating Dodger loss), eating apfelpfankuchen cheeks and enjoying the tail end of another summer. We hope you have a good week and will be back to join us for another installment of the WWC. Drive safely, and don't feed the inmates. Bye until next week.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

WWC: "West" and "Favorite Story"

After a rough week, including a dead Xbox and a long wait list at the library, we were soothed by the dulcet sounds of our frickin' adorable grandchild who is learning to scream. Sometimes she'll do it just for the sheer joy of screaming. Or because she wants what you have (like beer) and you won't give it to her (or at least not enough to make her drunk).

We did, of course, get some photographs of our blubbery bundle of sweetness. And, since Tink is now somehow communicating to us from the Great Beyond, we're still getting words for the Weekly Word Challenge. Hooray for ouija boards! Enjoy the pictures.


Favorite Story (Guess How Much I Love You)

Bonus Picture ("Grandpa, I think somebody messed up your clothes.")

That's all for this week, Superfriends. I hope you have enjoyed this week's edition. Please tune in next time when we hope to have even more mug shots of Gramps from that regrettable incident in 2002 involving a can of orange soda, a brick and a police cruiser. Really, it was all one big, hilarious mistake. Barring that, we'll have more photos of The Granddaughter.

Have a great week!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Night of the Living Granddaughter

This has been a bad week.

You probably felt a disturbance in the Force when our Xbox 360 was stricken with the "red ring of death." It is a hardware issue that required us to mail our system in to the Microsoft repair center in Texas. The machine is due to arrive there tomorrow. I track the parcel hourly. Xboy and I are wearing black armbands until it returns home.

Also, just as disturbing is the fact that The Daughter received her learner's permit yesterday. She has been begging me to let her drive me in to work. Ever since I saw that piece of paper from the DMV I have been hyperventilating. I also have a strange pain in my chest and my left arm is numb. Also a massive headache. Yes, she is 18 and a mother, but this is California, and about 90% of the drivers out there have the skill level of a used Q-tip. I'm not ready for this.

In other rotten news, I placed a hold at the library for Seth Grahame-Smith's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, a mashup of Jane Austen's novel and zombies. I am number 218 on the list. Looks like I'll get to read it about the time I become a great-grandpa.

The last piece of bad news is that there are no Weekly Word Challenge words for this week due to recent events. There will be new words next Tuesday, so tune in. I forgot to post a bonus picture last week, so I'll post one today. This is one of my favorite shots of The Granddaughter. I call it "I Want Your Brain." She is going to make a great zombie someday.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

WWC: "H" and "Fade"

It is with mixed emotions that we present this week's episode of the Weekly Word Challenge. On the one hand, we get to show off pictures of our frickin' adorable granddaughter. On the other hand, we say farewell to our indomitable host Tink, who has ridden off into the sunset. Adios amiga. We'll see you again in that great Pickled Meat Eating Contest in the Sky.

And now, on to the words of the day...

H (The Daughter is getting help from Xboy as she changes a diaper.)

Fade (The Granddaughter is starting to fade after a long day.)

That's all for today. This little girl is growing up fast and learning to get into everything. Pretty soon we'll have photos of walking and then riding a bicycle and then getting married! It's all happening too fast. Make it stop!

At any rate, we'll see you again next week. You can look forward to either more photos of The Granddaughter or pictures of my ingrown toenail. We aren't sure yet.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

A Weekend at Grandma and Grandpa's

Yes, the Granddaughter (and Mommy) are home from the very long two-week vacation to Ohio! Granny picked them up from the airport late Tuesday night, was greeted with hugs and kisses from the Daughter and the Granddaughter's face lit up with joy and the feet started kicking to be rescued from the dreaded carseat. (Who can say "no" to those adorable brown eyes and chubby, edible cheeks??)

Almost immediately, the Daughter wants to spend the weekend with her Girlfriend - leave on Friday, home on Monday. (Mind you, the same girlfriend who just spent two weeks in Ohio with her ...); but being the GREAT mommy that I am - I drove her the two hours north and drove two hours home (with the Granddaughter)!

Yep, Gramps and Granny have had the Granddaughter all weekend - and we are doing what Grandparents do ... Pizza, Beer and Dodger Baseball on Friday night (she insisted!) ... again, Pizza, Beer and Dodger Baseball - with just a few bites of Frozen Peach Yogurt on Saturday night (again, HER choice!)... and today (Sunday) we are going to play in her pool, watch Dodger Baseball - drink a few bottles ...

... and spend THREE hours cleaning the crib, baby bedding and carpet in the nursery! You see, when Granny woke up this morning - she checked on the Granddaughter sitting and playing so peacefully in her crib - went to the kitchen to start her cereal/fruit and when I came back ...

The Granddaughter had removed her diaper and threw it onto the light tan carpet - BUT not before she had removed the "dirty" contents and smeared it all over her sheets, the crib bumper, stuffed animals and not to mention her hair, neck, fingers and toes ... remember people, this is a baby with rolls and rolls and more rolls!

It's time for the Daughter to come home, NOW!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

WWC: "Half" and "W"

She's home! She's home! She's home! She's home! The Granddaughter is finally home from her two weeks in Ohio, and only a day late for our Weekly Word Challenge submission. This week's words are brought to you by the slumping Tink, who almost took a picture this week. She was that close. The words are "Half" and "W."

Half (Half a baby--who is finally home!)

W (Playing in the water with her great-grandmother in Ohio. She also appears to be wearing a bulletproof vest...just in case. Or is that a suicide bomber's vest? With her great-grandmother, you never know.)

Bonus Photo (This is another shot from her trip to Ohio. She has eight teeth now. Can you believe it?)

Next week we will share more baby goodness just as long as we can tear ourselves away from nibbling on her apfelpfankuchen cheeks just long enough to find the camera. Thanks for joining us. Have a great week, and give Tink a hard time for being a slug.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Vacation Chronicles

Granny, Xboy and I spent the last week staying with my parents in the home where I grew up. I enjoy being there for several reasons. The first will be obvious when you see the pictures--there are no people anywhere to be found. Also, my parents have coffee ready when we wake up, and the fridge is usually well stocked with beer. A people-free zone with ample coffee and beer is about all I need.

Except my granddaughter. She is still in Ohio with her mother, and they won't return until Tuesday. Poor, poor Gramps.

The following photos were taken in the front yard, where my brother and I spent many summer hours playing Wiffle Ball. The house is at about 6,000 feet elevation, and the tallest mountains in the pictures are about 14,000 feet. (That's a little more than 1,800 and 4,200 meters for those of you who use the dork-tric system.)

The first shot is looking to the west.

The next photo looks across the valley to the east.

Mostly, we relaxed, played cards, watched baseball on T.V. and read. (I finished a wonderful anthology called The Living Dead, for those still searching for the perfect summer book.) We did take one day to go fishing at the lake in the photo below. The action wasn't so hot, but we did have the place mostly to ourselves. Granny, as usual, burned her nose to a crisp.

Regarding the fishing, I need to tattle on Granny. I hope you all can shame her into displaying proper manners. You see, she completely violated the terms of the "you catch 'em, you clean 'em" rule. As usual, Gramps had to clean her fish for her. The things I do for this woman!

Granny and I arrived back home yesterday, but Xboy stayed up an extra week. Barring any happy accidents (like winning the lottery) I return to work on Tuesday, so I'm trying to relax and savor my last two days of freedom.

That reminds me. If you have a winning lottery ticket you'd like to send to me, just speak up in the comments section. I'd be eternally grateful.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

WWC: "O" and "South"

The show must go on! Despite the fact that the frickin' adorable Granddaughter is in Ohio, we are able to bring you the Weekly Word Challenge on schedule thanks to the photographic efforts of The Daughter. Our sponsor Tink (miniature fairy by day, alligator zombie by night) has provided us with a word and a letter for your viewing pleasure: "O" and "South." Enjoy.

O (The Ohio State University, for those of you who are into that limp-wristed Big Ten stuff.)


Bonus Photo (At the local park in muggy central Ohio.)

That's it for this week, race fans. We still have another week to go with no granddaughter around to make us smile and give us delicious apfelpfankuchen cheeks to eat, but we're surviving. In fact, Granny, Gramps and Xboy are off visiting California family as you read this. Maybe we'll show off some cool pics from Gramps' hometown when we return. This is Gramps, for Granny, signing off and heading for a beer. Have a great week.

Friday, July 10, 2009

I Hope I Don't Get in Trouble for This

Since The Granddaughter is away and there is absolutely nothing else to do, it is the perfect time to let you into our world a little deeper. Granny and I may live rather ordinary lives, but that doesn't mean there isn't anything interesting to share.

Here are some ten interesting facts about Granny to delight and amuse you:
  • She prefers her soda without ice.
  • In order to locate Granny in a crowd, I look for children. She will be nearby.
  • If possible, she would go barefoot every day of her life. I had to convince her to wear shoes to our wedding.
  • Granny has never finished the last bite of a meal or the last drink of a beverage. Ever.
  • If you ever need help, Granny will be there for you.
  • She likes the Los Angeles Lakers, but hates Kobe.
  • The minute I get myself settled in bed, Granny will inevitably ask--very sweetly--if I would please get her a piece of fruit, some dessert or something to drink.
  • Granny's favorite summer snack is tomatoes and cucumbers with salt, pepper and vinegar.
  • She enjoys walking along the beach looking for sand dollars.
  • After more than eight years, Granny's dark brown eyes still have the power to enchant me.
There's more, of course, but this will have to do. Dinner is ready and the baseball game is coming on!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

WWC: "Blue" and "Happy"

Granny and Gramps welcome you to the saddest ever edition of the Weekly Word Challenge, sponsored by Pickled Beef, your supplier of Madoff-free financial products and services since 2009. Why is this the saddest ever edition of the WWC? By the time you read this post, The Granddaughter will have been abducted by her mother for a two-week trip to Ohio without Granny and Gramps. How can we be expected to survive for so long without that delicious baby goodness?

This is the most heinous crime since the Yankees stole Babe Ruth from the Red Sox in 1919. I am sure you share our pain. And with that awful announcement, on to the pictures of the week.

Blue (Bleeding Dodger Blue)

Happy (Celebrating Mom's graduation with a tasty banana.)

Bonus Photo (Climbing on the luggage that, in a few hours, would be loaded on a plane and winging its way to Ohio. *sniff*)

That, my friends, has been the Weekly Word Challenge for July 7, 2009. We laughed, we cried, we gummed a banana. Wish The Granddaughter a safe trip, and pray that nothing so horrible ever happens again. Until next week, this is Gramps, for Granny, saying, "Goodnight, and if we don't make it, go on without us."

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

WWC: "6" and "Look Up"

Greetings, Earthlings! Welcome to the 4th of July Edition of the Weekly Word Challenge. Our fair hostess, Tink, has passed on two patriotic words/phrases for your viewing pleasure. As a special treat, we will also be including the first ever photographs of The Granddaughter. I know you've been dying to see her, so here she is!

6 (As always, she is fascinated by beer. You're never too young to learn.)

Look Up

Bonus Photo #1 (She is completely exhausted after her mother's graduation celebration.)

Bonus Photo #2 (Remember the box that so fascinated her?)

Thank you for joining us for WWC this week at our little ol' blog. Please join us again next week when the theme will be either "okra" or "a frickin' adorable little girl."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

WWC: "C" and "Wood"

It's Tuesday, which means it is time for another exciting episode of the Weekly Word Challenge, brought to you by Tink, purveyor of all things pickled. If you are pregnant, nursing, or think you may become pregnant, please use caution when viewing these pictures. The extreme adorability of The Granddaughter has been known to cause injury and death in laboratory animals.


Wood (Bats, tables and coasters, oh my!)

Bonus Photo ("Can Viper come out and play, Granny?")

We have come to the end of another exciting episode, and we thank you for inviting us into your home or workplace. (If you are reading this from work, you'd better get back to business before you get your behind fired.) Please come back to see us next week for our special tribute, "Odd Things The Granddaughter Has Put into Her Mouth."

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Who Needs a Little Red Wagon?

The long graduation party weekend is over, leaving us exhausted and ready for a long nap. Unfortunately, The Granddaughter insisted that we pull her around in a box for the entire evening. We took turns, but she outlasted us all.

She is definitely a little girl who knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it. I pity her future spouse. At least she'll be frickin' adorable.

Friday, June 19, 2009

It Is Finished

The graduation ceremony is done! Our little girl has finished high school. Whew. Now can we kick her out of the house?

Our daughter was chosen to give the inspirational speech, and she is standing at the podium in the photo below. Isn't she beautiful? She did a great job on the speech. Her main point was that life isn't always the fairytale we want, but even if we make mistakes, there is still an opportunity to turn things around and have a bright future. We're proud of her. She must take after Gramps.

We had a mild celebration at The Cheesecake Factory with family, and we'll have a slightly more raucous time at a barbecue on Saturday.

And, as always, The Granddaughter was frickin' adorable. She was quite proud of her mommy. Here she is, eating a delicious shoe.

I hope y'all are having a good week.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

WWC: "A" and "Favorite Song"

Welcome to the Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time Edition of the Weekly Word Challenge, brought to you again by Tink, the woman married to a future hairdresser extraordinaire.

Why are we not ready for Prime Time, you may ask? I blame Granny. She has been obsessively and compulsively working on the Daughter's graduation tribute video. The hours spent on that project left us little creative energy or time to get our WWC photos up earlier in the day. Those of you in the East will probably enjoy these a day late. I'm not sure how the time zones work for those of you who live in some foreign land, though I'm surprised you poor souls even have Internet connections at all. Either way, enjoy.


Favorite Song ("Rubber Ducky" as made famous by Ernie from Sesame Street.)

Bonus Photo (From around Easter, as evidenced by the bunny and extra-girly dress.)

We'll be celebrating with the Daughter the rest of the week, so you may or may not see us around much. Granny promises to be a gracious host for all our graduation guests, and Gramps promises to drink a lot of beer so he can pretend that our guests never showed up.

Have a great week, and join us for next week's WWC which will feature shots of a wildly drunk Gramps telling friends and relatives to get the hell out of his house.