With a Wife Like Her, Who Needs a Mugger?

I am worn out. It has been a long week for all of us. We have had visitors and doctors and drama and a host of other time- and energy-consuming busyness. Plus, Granny has been beating me up.

Monday was our 8th Wedding Anniversary. We'll be going away next weekend, so we didn't do anything too spectacular. We went out to dinner with our kids and frickin' adorable granddaughter. That was enough excitement for these two old bodies.

Granny, however, surprised me with a special anniversary gift very early in the morning. I found myself awake at about 3:30, and Granny was stirring in her sleep. Suddenly, without a word, she rolled over, grabbed my forearms and pushed me down on the bed. This was no playful wrestling, mind you. Granny was angry.

I said something to the effect of "what the hell are you doing?" and pushed her off. I held her down for a few moments while she calmed down. When she became still, I tried to ask her what was the matter. She was dead asleep. Through the whole incident, she never woke up. Now I can check off "attacked by my wife in her sleep" to the things that I have experienced in eight years of marriage to Granny.

Granny will concur that our journey together has been rough and rocky, but it has also contained a number of blessings in disguise (including The Granddaughter), a lot of learning and growing, and, through it all, love. After eight years, I can honestly say that I wouldn't trade Granny or our marriage for all the beer in the world. (Or anything else, for that matter.)

Happy anniversary, Granny! I love you. But please stop assaulting me.